The Ego Doubling Down On Dreams

stairwell-bored-panda

(From Bored Panda)

A dream from a couple of nights ago clued me in to the fact that despite all of my efforts to work on dream interpretation and active dreaming – maybe even lucid dreaming one of these days – somewhere in my brain or beyond I apparently don’t want to keep working on this.

I was at my grandparents’ old house, which is a pretty common dreamscape for me. Initially my sister was there and we were helping clean up the place while my grandfather (now deceased for some years) was away, but eventually it was just me. I’m walking around the house looking things over when a voice tells me, It’s time to wake up now.

“Wake up? I’m not dreaming.”

Yes you are.

“I’m at my grandparents’ house.”

Yes, you are, but it’s in a dream.

“I’m not dreaming. Look” – I started running my hands along the walls – “I can feel the walls.”

Yes, but you’re still dreaming, and it’s time for you to wake up.

I look at my cell phone. I notice the time is odd – a little before when I woke up for real last time. “See, I’m awake. I’m looking at the time on my cell phone.”

No, you’re still dreaming.

I looked at my phone a couple more times, and a (dreamscape) wall clock – still insisting I was awake, but thinking it was somewhat strange that every time I checked the time, it was earlier. Finally the sounds of my wife shuffling around outside my room really did wake me up.

(There was no emergency or any such thing happening, by the way – I’d just overslept and my dog was waiting to go out. He probably would’ve considered it an emergency, though.)

So, several things that struck me about this dream:

Someone, somewhere is trying to tell me – outright tell me using plain words – that I am dreaming. Some part of me. Some other part of me is insisting that I am not dreaming, and has gotten itself quite invested in the idea that I really am where I think I am. I’m sure there is a case to be made for id, ego, and super-ego here; from a metaphysical standpoint, it would be ego, Higher Self, and so on. The ego, maybe, is fighting the possibility of moving on to a greater view of reality.

The clocks, also, should have been a clue that I was dreaming. I didn’t think much about them at first, but then early this morning one reappeared: I woke up at one point, checked the time on my cell phone, went back to sleep. In the dream that followed I repeatedly insisted to myself that I was awake – but when I checked the time on my (dream) cell phone, it read 1 1/2 hours earlier than the time it gave when I really was awake.

Numerous metaphysicists, theosophists, and others among what typically gets called the New Age have warned that the Ego will fight to keep its limited scope of the universe, and fight hard. It is what it is; it won’t change its nature, we just have to convince it that doing what we’re doing, trying to expand our awareness on all kinds of different levels, is no threat to it. (Or maybe the Ego just doesn’t like to share.)

Frustrating as the “I AM NOT DREAMING!!!” dreams were once I woke up, they are also a signal that I may be on the verge of a breakthrough, or at least some significant progress. I’ve let myself backslide from spiritual explorations all too often in the past, but I’m going to fight to keep myself from letting that happen again. Those two dreams would seem to indicate that I’m heading in the direction I need to be, and not just when it comes to dream interpretation.

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