Sometimes It’s Nonsensical, Sometimes It’s All Too Clear

There’s no picture for this entry because I couldn’t even begin to think of what kind of picture to include, unless anyone out there knows an artist who mashes up Dali with Picasso with Pollock. For that matter, this is another one of those entries that I debated about writing at all – not because of the personal aspect this time, though, but because I wasn’t sure some of it would make any sense.

The good news is that after a few days of a metaphysical drought, when I wasn’t able to calm down my racing mind enough to meditate (I could get to sleep with the help of ASMR, but that puts me under too much for meditation), I didn’t have any trouble at all last night. I was able to clear my thoughts almost immediately after lying down. And images started filling my “field of vision” immediately after that. But none of the images made any sense, and in fact most defy description. But here goes:

The images came rapidly, one every few seconds. Almost all of them looked like, as I said above, combination of Dali, Picasso, and Pollock, provided the paintings had no people in them. Each image was a cluster of shapes and a multitude of colors. Not exactly like a kaleidoscope since those images have symmetry; think more along the lines of modern pieces of stained glass that have no rhyme or rhythm. One after the other, usually so quickly I could barely see any detail except to recognize that there was a lot of detail. Sometimes the colors were vibrant; other times muted, such as one that had only a background of twilight blue shot through with dark gold.

I only caught three images well enough in my memory to describe the shapes, since unlike most of the images, there were very few shapes to see. The first consisted of three triangles lined side by side, and the top point of each triangle bent to the left to form a crescent as tall and almost as thick as the parent triangle. These were at the bottom of another similar triangle, including crescent.

The next two were thick wheel-shaped things, giving me the feeling that they were very large as if I was seeing them from a distance, and resembling what old-time science fiction writers and artists used to imagine space stations of the future would look like.

I’ve never taken any hallucinogenic drugs in my life, but this series of images sure made me wonder if I’d accidentally gotten hold of something I shouldn’t have.

They continued “running” while I was actively trying to question what I was seeing. I hadn’t gone into the meditation with anything definite in mind, but had been wondering again about the future, so were these images somehow symbolic of the future? The feeling I got was ambivalent, even about the “space stations”. Sure, they could represent the future in the way any meditation could – or, say, a doctor could tell you if you don’t do X then Y will happen. They were definitely symbols, but so complex I couldn’t begin to figure out what they meant. I tried questioning the images directly, as some mediums and metaphysicians suggest doing, but got nothing.

The images quit flowing through my vision only when I actively broke the meditation.

That wasn’t the end of the night’s work, though. I decided to try something more specific.

Earlier in the evening, just out of sheer curiosity (which I admitted in an earlier M&I entry is often a prime motivator for my spiritual explorations), I was in fact thinking about the future and remembered a part of Jane Roberts’ book Seth Speaks where Seth mentions a reality where all consciousnesses can meet and communicate. Seth also mentioned many times across the books that we can communicate with others telepathically whether we’re aware of it or not. Half-irreverently but half-seriously I came up with the idea of trying to communicate with the president-elect to try figuring out what he really had in mind when it came to running for president and what he had in mind to do as president…

…and I slammed into a barricade that was like hitting one gigantic NO made manifest.

This was not on the president-elect’s end, but my own. These were my own instincts screaming at me not to do this, or even try. That this was a dark and dangerous idea, and that if I ever seriously wanted to attempt it, I would need to be a lot more solid, stable, and grounded in this work than I am right now.

As late as this morning, just doing nothing more than thinking about how I would write about this either here in M&I or just to my friend Alexandra had I chosen not to write about it here, I could feel that barricade thrown up all over again. As I type this entry I can feel the NO lurking in the background like a growling animal inside a cave.

OK then. On to other things.

There is an epilogue to this entry, which is much less confusing and much more positive, however.

After all of this, this morning before getting out of bed I specifically relaxed into a meditation focusing on the question of wondering what 2017 would bring. An image appeared instantly: a sky full of storm clouds, but with the sun still managing to shine through. I certainly like that image a lot better than a burning calendar.

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