I know this is a pretty popular view of soulmates, and I’ll admit I find it appealing. For that matter, there are people I consider to be my soulmates who have come into my life like a thunderclap, including some of you in the Circle. There are plenty of days when I can still hear that thunder echoing in my ears.
But based on my experiences with others I believe to be soulmates, I don’t necessarily think it’s true in every case. You may need someone who makes you question things and who changes your reality – but if you aren’t ready for those things, if you’re not in a place where you want someone to make a mark in your life, then a thunderclap is going to accomplish nothing more than sending you scurrying for shelter.
What I believe a soulmate is: Someone you need to come into your life in the way you need them to enter it. There have been times, especially when I was much younger, where I wasn’t afraid of the thunderclap – or, admittedly, when subtlety would have been completely lost on me and so some loud bang of one sort or another was necessary to get my attention.
But other times, during those days when I felt isolated, or wanted to be more of a hermit, or was encased in a shell of depression, someone entering my life like a quiet breeze was more appropriate – almost unnoticed at the time, except for a little bit of stirring in mind or heart or both, a nudge of a heads up that this person wasn’t quite like anyone else you’ve met recently. Some of you in the Circle were like that nudge.
Both are equal as far as I’m concerned – the thunder isn’t better than the breeze, and vice versa. What’s important is that they came into my life, and remained.
Both forms, thunder and breeze, are easy to ignore if you’re hardheaded. But soulmates are tenacious, and even if it took a long time – years in some cases – eventually I’ll realize that I’m utterly and inextricably drawn to the person, and have been from a much earlier time than my conscious realization of our connection.
Sometimes that realization of being utterly drawn to someone is the thunderclap, even if you’ve known them for years.
Sometimes the thunder fades to a breeze, and then, perhaps years later, thunders again.
Whatever it takes for them to stay close to you, in your heart and mind even if not in physical distance, is what will be done. You’ve got things to accomplish together, and souls don’t want to get hung up on how you get to that whole meeting thing when those things are waiting to be done.
Then there’s the idea of a soulmate solely as a romantic partner, the One True Love, the Missing Half who you find and then you’re together for the rest of your lives, and sometimes life after life. I like that idea too. I certainly did when I was 20 years old – in fact, I very nearly ignored every other possible form of soulmate when I was 20 years old, hung up on the romantic aspects. It’s an extraordinarily popular and alluring idea too, but I go for what has been described as a more “modest” and less popular views:
Another, more modest theory is that soul mate is not one’s missing half, but rather someone whom one has been with for many different lifetimes and with whom one thus has an exceptionally strong link. These pairs of soul mates are reunited in lifetime after lifetime to continue their relationship, and to help each other out. They are so attuned to each other that they can often communicate without words. Over the course of many lifetimes, they sometimes exchange sex roles. …
Yet another, less popular, conceptualization postulates that a wide variety of different people are our soul mates and we are reunited with them in a wide diversity of roles – as lovers, spouses, siblings, parents/children, and so forth.
–The Death and Afterlife Book, by James R. Lewis
In fact my belief is heavy into that second paragraph – that we have many souls we are connected to and keep coming back into different lives with. The universe is a big place, after all, and the non-physical realms beyond this life are far bigger still, so why limit your soulmates to just one person or a very small number? If the point of being here is to learn, to care for others, to be a Schoolhouse Earth, why on earth (or anywhere else) would you limit the number of people who could teach and help you, and who you could be a teacher and helper for?
If souls love one another, or need to work things out, there’s no reason why they wouldn’t want to keep coming back together again and again, their lives and roles dependent on what they wanted to accomplish with this lifetime. I think I have quite a few soulmates. All of you in the Circle, for starters. My mother, who shares my spiritual beliefs, and a few other family members. Other close friends I would like to share this blog with, but don’t (at least not yet) for various reasons. Harkening back to age 20, I believe the woman I dated then is a soulmate – then, I was hoping overwhelmingly for the romantic aspect of the concept (of course), but she’s still a soulmate nevertheless.
They are the ones that stay with you, who make a mark on your life (and soul!) forever. I know that particularly lady will; those of you in the Circle will, as will those in my family. The people you know you will carry with you your whole life, and will always feel close to, even if you never see them in the flesh (in this lifetime) again. They helped make you who you are; you gave something of yourself to them; you helped make them who they are or were. They feel, even if they have been out of your life for years, as if they might still be close enough to whisper in your ear. That they are still whispering, sometimes. You can hear them right now if you listen.
Those are soulmates, regardless of their number.
I love all of you. I feel grateful for all of you. And I wouldn’t be who I am without you.
Thank you. And keep stirring up those breezes and thunderclaps, whichever you will.