More Of What I Said I Wouldn’t Do

I said in yesterday’s entry that I wasn’t going to keep a daily record of dreams on this blog, and I’m still not, but there were four pieces of last night’s dreams that I thought were significant enough to put down here.

Help Me Account For My Dream. The first dream I’m aware of having last night I remember being long and detailed – and I complete forgot all of those details the instant I woke up from it in the middle of the night. But the opening of the second dream was me sitting down with an accounting professor I know (real life person) and asking for help trying to remember what happened in the previous dream.

Math Anxiety. Your standard anxiety dream: I realized at the end of a semester that I hadn’t been to a math class all semester and so was going to flunk the course. I’m including this because it’s the first anxiety dream I’ve had since restarting my spirituality conversations and having my visit with Alexandra a couple of weeks ago – and it was a relatively mild one at that.

(I also bucked it a little while in the middle of it, thinking “Why do I even need to go to college for this degree when I’ve already got one?” Which is a different resistance than the more lucid one that has happened the last few times I’ve had a failed class anxiety dream. In those I think, “This is only a dream, so nobody has to know that I failed the class, do they?”)

Dream Energy for the Common Good. These two pieces were from the same dream, my last of the night. I half-realized that I was dreaming, and thus that I could do some things that I wasn’t normally able to do while awake. (This is a big deal to me because one of my major goals is lucid dreaming – being aware that I’m dreaming and thus able to control the dream, including its outcome and finding out why I’m having that particular dream in the first place.)

As an initial demonstration to my mother – who in waking life shares the lion’s share of my spiritual beliefs – I did push ups. In real life, having not done a workout at the gym in several months, I might be able to do a half-dozen push ups. In the dream I could do them continuously without getting tried, channeling an “energy” (unnamed and vague) that I knew I had because I was dreaming.

This wasn’t a perfect channeling, though. In fact I occasionally stumbled with it, or accidentally cut off the flow, and during those times the push ups would get harder or my arms would grow too tired to do them. But while it flowed freely I did one push up right after the other with no trouble.

The second part of the dream saw a group of hijackers stealing some kind of badly needed vaccine. With no one else around to help, some friends and I decided to steal back the vaccine from the truck where the mercenaries were holing up. Being somewhat aware that I was dreaming and channeling this particular energy, and thus that I couldn’t be hurt or captured, I told my friends, “I’ll be the distraction. Once they all leave the truck to come after me, you go get the vaccine.” A moment later I woke up, though, so again, no resolution.


 

I hope I’m not reading too much into this. But the fact that paying more attention to my dreams suddenly means I’m remembering a lot more seems to me to be the universe telling me, “It may take you a long time to get where you want to be” – lucid dreaming  – “and you may never totally get there. But since you’re serious about this, here are some successes to keep you going.”

 

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